personal, thoughts since 2019

—23/7/19 well, i started recovery for anorexia... and im actually freaking out. i feel so fat. but its going to be worth it for my health. i just feel like all the weight im gaining is going straight to my arms and i am just not liking this. Also I made a post on my profile about learning to hack nasa, it was clearly a joke...but i am learning how to preform xss attacks on website which i guess is hacking, just not hacking nasa.

—28/6/19 the summer is actual trash. my mother is mad at me for not having a life and never going outside

—18/6/19 this summer sucks, i have to stay home with my agressive parents every single day.

POTENTIAL DEVILMAN CRYBABY SPOILERS so, i just finished watching devilman crybaby... and uh... the ending was so sad !! he clearly loved him so much !! but he killed him while fighting !! they were goinging to be together in space and l o v e eachother. but like, the dude was bad, he used a ton of people... killed a ton of people.... why is this ending so sad !! but this is a very good anime: it does a good job at bluring the lines between good and evil, it bascically gay (they clearly love eachother), and in my op the character design of the guy in the white coat (forgot his name) is very cute.

—29/5/19 stress induced headaches are annoying. poppy's new song 'scary mask' came out today, i love her 'metal' songs. —still trying to find happiness !!

—28/5/19 the mosquitoes are killing me, please send help

—24/5/19 I cant wait until may 29th, Poppy has been teasing this new song from what seems like what's been forever ! —Scary Mask !

—13/5/19 wow, my dad really just has me stressed out :/

—10/5/19 my dad really seems to have zero common sense right now...

—5/5/19 i don't know about this girl, yeah... i like her, but the way she treats [redirected] is messed up. —no matter how cute you are, if you got a messed up attitude, then im not falling for you

—2/5/19 white kids, honestly... my school is so fucking racist, i cant even stand it, the teachers dont even do anything when they see racism. —even if racism is a problem at school, i shall continue to do my best in life.

—1/5/19 this week sucks, major tests back to back to back and this isn't even finals week yet. —im suprised i didn't burnout yet.

—10/4/19 came out to my mom as lesbian today... she's oddly very supportive. —im suprised even

—5/4/19 they didn't forget —they're telling and showing new people

—4/4/19 political debates with the teacher, a student recorded it —im sweating, i hope everyone forgets tomorrow

—2/4/19 today i learned that if you only press the black keys on a piano very slowly, it sounds kind of nice. also, some cringy girls where starting a scene, yelling and clapping at eachother in the middle of the hall, it was so idiotic. —i guess nothing much today

—29/3/19 i went to check the mail for my parents today after school, and in the mail was a sticker to impeach trump. My mother said it was for her, she had got it online to put on her car to show her support for the impeachment of trump. —glad to see my parents aren't trump supporters

—28/3/19 a whole group of people got in trouble today, for vaping in school. i kind of knew they would get in trouble, but the way this whole situation when down left a nasty taste in my mouth... they were all called into the office by an oficer, and the officer asked them who's vape it was —he had found it on school property and somehow got word that it was their's— they said they didn't do it then they went back to the classroom. right after that they stole took their vapes from the one of the girl's(we'll call her girl 1) pencil cases then hid it. The officer called them back to the office (not beliving their story) then he asked them again and...they rated her out, all her friends rated her out and gave the officer the vape and said "girl 1" bought it for her— the girl got out of school suspension for 7 days— and the rest of the girls got away without any punishment— "girl 1" had messed up friends, and i felt bad for her.

—27/3/19 i wonder, is there a cure to depression? i've had depression for three years and im starting to loose hope. i just want to be happy- and the more i want to be happy, the more unhappy i seem to find myself. maybe i should pick up a new hobby or something... start learning bass again, or maybe learn the skateboard. idk